DMXFiancée Desiree Lindstrom wrote a heartbreaking tribute to the late rapper, making her first public comments on his death.

The popular hip hop artist whose real name is Earl Simmonsdied on April 9, aged 50, days after a heart attack. He is survived by 15 children, including his and Desiree’s 4-year-old son, Exodus. On Saturday April 17th, she shared her first Instagram post since his death: A throwback photo of herself and DMX making themselves comfortable together.

“The first night we met and you held me,” she captioned the picture. “I knew I would never let go. I was lost in you and nothing else mattered. My best friend, my baby, my love … really my everything. Thank you for us. Thank you for the exodus. Thank God for Earl Simmons … forever X. “

Before Saturday, Desiree last shared two videos on Instagram on March 30th. One showed up and DMX sitting in a vehicle with a friend and rocking The Jacksons 1980 song “The Place Hotel”.