In November, Chrissy wrote on social media, “When I’m old and gray I will look back on the past two months as brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful bitches a few months old. But I refuse.” find no humor in both the tantrums and the outfits. “

“I’ve already started seeing the leaves as orange instead of gray, realizing that the sky is indeed blue, not black, and horn honking on my forced morning walks only gets me on my knees half the time,” she continued. “I can get up my stairs by stopping once or twice instead of everyone else, and I can get out of the bath all by myself as long as I promise that John will dry me off.”

While mourning Jack, Chrissy, who shares daughter Luna Stephens, 4 and Miles Stephens, 2, with John, stopped drinking and announced in December that after some self-discovery, she decided to do it. She explained, “I was done screwing my ass in front of people (I still feel embarrassed), tired of day drinking and feeling like I was at 6 am because I couldn’t sleep.”