Ben Higgins is ready to see things through rose-colored glasses.

The former lead actor from The Bachelor was recently featured on the Better Etc podcast Trista Sutter how much his mental health has suffered since becoming a reality TV star.

“I’m just back in Indiana because of a mishap, back in my life where I’m going: ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen,'” he shared. “‘I don’t know what this next lifetime looks like for me.’ I’m further and further removed from the show and at the same time I have to find out what my life will be and what my legacy will be. “

He called this an “exciting season” in his life but admitted that he is still having it “tough”. Higgins is engaged to Jessica Clarkethat he got to know outside of Bachelor Nation after his previous engagement at Bachelor Nation Lauren Bushnell.

“It’s also really difficult because I’m at a low level. I don’t see myself as that emerging figure at the moment,” continued the 32-year-old. “I kind of complain and part with a lot of things that I’ve kept close.”